REDtribution.

Last Saturday was the MIR re-match. The time had come to seek vengeance on last year’s heartbreak. I had to prove to myself that I was better than last year and that we had really gotten somewhere as a team.

Warming up, I felt a little shaky. Eating the right balance of food can be tricky bout day, and my stomach was a little uncertain. Also MIR is one of the only other teams that we’ve played who also has a slick floor. I even felt like I was sliding around a bit too much in warm ups and didn’t feel entirely solid.

Tyna learned at last year’s bout not to play me first, so Ophelia Fracture took the line and put 8 up on the board for us, while Vyolent Grimm snagged 4 for MIR. The first jam sets the tone for me, and going to the jam line second I still wasn't sure. So far it looked like they weren’t just going to hand it over to us. Lolli Pop Ya took the line next to me, one of the only jammers that makes me feel small in the star. I entered the pack second, and got stuck on the outside and tripped up over a downed skater. I tried to save myself but fumbled to the floor, feeling a bit embarrassed. I brushed myself off and sped up to catch Lolli, forcing her to call it off after she got 4 points.

Jen growls her way through.

The third jam they put two more up on the board and had the lead for a brief moment until OFX busted our lead wide open with an 18 point jam. It looked like Lolli was playing a lot of back to back jams and primarily blocking, which left the jamming to Vyloent Grimm and some of their fresher skaters. We had a handful of our fresher meat with us that night too, relying on Jenna JAMisON and Outlaw Jessie Pains to fill out or jammer bench since GLADi8HER is out for awhile with injury.

This was also the debut night for JB and Red Tribution. Red, whose was a bridesmaid in her brother's wedding the following day, got whacked in the face in her very first jam. It sucked to see her out so early on, but I think it made her derby drive stronger. JB is a great trailer to anyone's truck, and helped block the crap out of one or two jammers. 

The uncertainty I felt during warm ups washed away quickly with several big jams, including a 23 point power jam. By the half we had a solid lead at 113 to their 53. I actually felt quite good on the track and wasn’t completely exhausted like I was by this time last year. Also, I think Your Dad needs to come up with a new nick name for me. In March I was “Twinkletoes” because I got really good at avoiding big hits while jamming, but now I’m dishing out the big hits while jamming. When you have the star on your head, everyone is out to get you. You can begin to anticipate when they’re going to lay a hit on you, especially if you try to take the coveted inside line. Why not just hit them first? 

I was awarded MVP.
It's a foot.

The second half began and we had to be careful not too get to comfortable in our lead, because last year they picked away at it in the second half and won in the final jam. We have been working on a lot of partner defense lately, and it was really showing in this bout. One particular jam I remember blocking in, it was just Jane Bang and myself on the track, minivanned by a nearly full MIR pack. We worked together and held off any serious damage and kept their jammer to only a few points.

We played a lot of smart strategy and kept control of the pack nearly the whole bout. It was reassuring to be working so well on the track after a long break of bouting and a bit of rotation in our roster. We won 246 to 114 in which I contributed 89 points- my highest scoring bout. My point differential was 71, which means I only allowed them 18 points against me while I jammed.  As a jammer, you’re only as good as your differential. It was good closure after my poor performance last year against MIR. 

This bout's photos:

Emily Sherman Photography

Dave Schrader

Erik Roys Photography

Nieuwenhuis Fotografie

Ed Cowan Photography

Des Moines Metromix

This post is dedicated to Red Tribution's broken nose. She'll be back with a vengeance...

Viva Rollercon.

I. am. in. Vegas.

To be honest, Vegas itself is pretty underwhelming. I’ve never really had the urge to come here because it’s expensive and gambling has never made much sense to me. (and the tunnel people!) But I’m not here to gamble or go to a fancy show, I am here for ROLLERCON. 

I’ve been nothing but excited the whole way here… the whole.. 27 hour way here. (Yes, we drove from IOWA CITY.) Last night Animal and I looked up which classes we want to take while we’re here. With those, the events, the challenge bouts to watch and you know, eating, this is going to be a VERY busy five days. Commence overwhelmsion.

I finally got some sleep last night, and I know I will make it all work. (work it out!) I just have to make peace with the fact that I probably won’t get to do everything I want to do. I also will have to exercise a little self control and limit my partying if I want to fit so many classes in. (the latter part will be hard.) Animal and I decided we will become Rollercon experts and then teach a preliminary class next year on how to do Rollercon right.

Team Christmas Miracle

We have already had lots of roller derby road trip practice this year. The weekend prior, Animal, Killer Baker, Fannysaurus Wrex and I drove to Lincoln, Nebraska to fill a hole in a double header weekend No Coast needed filled. They invited a few teams out to play, but when a team bowed out last minute they were scrambling to fill the spot. After many emails, and many potential plans, we ended up forming a mash up team with some girls from Sioux City, Sioux Falls, and Norfolk. They were so grateful they called us “Team Christmas Miracle.” Oh, did I mention we were taking on the No Coast Mad Maxines?

A moment of fear filled me prior to the bout, remembering the beating I was given against the Minnesota girls, but I let it go. I was  playing with girls I’d never played with before, against a WFTDA team I’d never seen play before; this bout was going to be a miracle anyway you look at it.

We danced and made friends.

First jam, I toed the line and looked up at the pack; the No Coast girls looked like giants, but the whistle blew and I looked past their two walls and exited, Lead Jammer! The first few jams we held them tight, but a few power jams later, they pulled way ahead. It didn’t matter. We showed them we meant business and I was ready to fight for every point. 

They won 200 to 46, but it felt a lot closer than that. I got my ass handed to me a few times, but I didn’t freak out and gave it everything I could. I felt bruised and broken and great afterwards and was awarded MVP of my team. We stuck around for the next day to help/watch the No Coast vs Ohio bouts which both No Coast teams pulled ahead and won in the final minutes. We danced our asses off at the after party and felt primed for Rollercon.

So bring it Rollecon. Give me everything you got. I’m ready to get my ass kicked. 

Reconstruct.

In an ideal world I would be playing as much roller derby as possible, traveling and creating video. Some sort of unlimited funds would be necessary to buy all the video equipment, software, and resources I need, alongside unlimited time for the editing process. Those same funds would pay for travel expenses to attend every tournament, bootcamp and championship as well as living. I am far from this ideal which leaves me wondering, what the hell AM I doing?

Right now I’m sitting in the Iowa Public Radio office across from John Pemble as he renders a video on some local bands that I helped him produce. It’s 5:15 am and I am remembering what hard work and mental perseverance can accomplish. I’m tired and wish I was fast asleep after a night of partying, but in this insatiable world, instant results have better success.

All weekend I ran around a span of blocks in downtown Des Moines with a flip camera, getting footage of local and national music acts at the 80/35 festival. I’m ‘doin a job’ but love this close interaction with artists who are passionate about creating. Being here also reminds me of a lot of old friends and memories with bands that reconnect me with another time. It kind of grounds me for a moment as I think about things and people I once wanted in life and the direction I thought I was heading.

Listening to multiple artists talking about creating and doing what they love made me envious.

Driving in early on Friday also meant I got to log in some time with my dad, revealing how out of touch I am with my own family. It also makes me pressure myself into proving that I’m doing something with my life now that I’ve been out of school for over a year. Faced with the simple question of, “what have you been up to?” I find myself searching and only really coming up with “roller derby”.

Derby. Derby. Derby. If you’re reading this you can probably relate and are excited about all the things that have been keeping me busy. To outsiders of roller derby though, I can only imagine what it looks like I have been doing.  I’ve fallen deep into derbyland and have lost all sense of direction. I’m losing my creative edge and am forgetting there’s more to life. It’s not about giving anything up, but about finding a balance. I’ve definitely discovered what I am capable of and want to apply these things to more parts of my life.

Looking forward, July is a month full of derby even though this is the lull in our season. Although I am too poor to participate in the Blood and Thunder bootcamp that is happening later this week, as well as the Team USA preliminary tryouts, I will go up Saturday to watch other people play derby. The next weekend I decided to take up an opportunity to play some high level derby with the Mad Rollin dolls in Nebraska for a triple header with No Coast, Omaha and Ohio. Then the week after that is Rollercon. My excitement is squashed by the anxiety of stretching every penny and hoping I have enough for rent when I get back. It’s no way to live and I am the only one who can change it.

I go through these inspirational chats with myself every few months when life starts to catch up with me, so I can only hope that this motivation lives past the words on this screen. Going back to school may be the answer. Sacrificing some roller derby for a better paying job may be the answer. I’ve fallen into this gimme, gimme, gimme world of instant gratification and just need to buck up and make some short term changes that will have longer lasting effects.

-L4D

Product from the weekend that I had the most hand in.



Self-Destruct.

I got a little cocky. Maybe bouting four weekends in a row wore me out. Or maybe I just got out of shape. Whatever it was, our bout against the Minnesota Rollergirls was not my finest.

All week I went through panicky fits of confidence and anxiety. I tried to reassure myself to just play roller derby like I normally do, and everything will be fine. I had seen them play on DNN, I had felt their hits at their boot camp, and we played out all the possible strategies they might use against us. We seemed to be completely prepared.

Our team warm-up happened as the audience started filling the Marriott, and we were feeling pretty solid. Next was equipment check and the nervous-standing-around-time as we waited for the bout to start. I looked over and saw Bat R was intensely messing with one of GLAD’s skates, it looked sucky. Wobbling around on my own skates something felt weird. I thought it was usual bout day paranoia but under further inspection I saw I was missing one of the nuts that holds my boot to my skate. Fuck. Apparently GLAD was having the same problem and Bat R was busy helping her. I ran over to Lukan, who was NSOing that night, hoping maybe he had extra hardware. He didn’t, but generously handed his own skate over for me to steal from. A few people helped me as I frantically tried to get the issue solved, but the announcers started warming the crowd, and I started freaking out. MNRG started their intros and it was obvious I wasn’t going to have enough time to fix this. Now I would be skating with faulty gear, but it was just unfortunate timing and I would have to deal. I jumped on the track just in time for our intro, but I stared at the floor the whole time.

They jammed L’exi Cuter and Medusa first, two of their all-star jammers, and we held them pretty close at 4 to 1. It was obviously going to be a battle but I felt we could hold our own. I took the line against Jax Kvass, better known to me as the Frau, and managed to get lead. As I came around the track MNRG was speeding away, using strategy we precisely anticipated. I finally caught up to them but they were still successfully booty blocking me. I managed to squeeze my hips forward and called it off. One point. I blocked and then jammed again, getting lead and only stealing two points before calling it off.

 The next time I took the line was the worst two minutes of my derby life. I battled through the pack on my initial, and just as I was seeing daylight, they sucked me back in. Veudoo Prodigy is a tiny beast on the track and she was all over me. She is the quickest person I’ve seen knock a player out and run twenty feet backwards. I was already exhausted as she did this to me, so I think I stepped back in front of her, losing the ability to gain lead. Frau had exited the pack and evidently didn’t gain lead either. This was a battle with no exit strategy. After I finally got out of the pack, I re-entered for a similar beating. I tried my best to avoid hits by Veudoo, and during one of my signature “don’t fucking touch me”  moves, she missed my body but knocked my feet out from under me. After nearly face-planting on the track, I peeled myself up and felt every ounce of energy I had leave my body. I tried to press on but could barely skate forward, let alone juke hits, and kept getting taken out on every turn. I managed to push through one scoring pass and as I was celebrating a silent victory, I got knocked back into the pack. It felt like ten minutes had gone by and I just wanted to give up. Four whistles finally ended my pathetic show and I fell in a sad heap behind our bench.

Tyna protecting me as I hid.

Bat R had called a time out to regroup but I couldn’t get up. I couldn’t face them, or look at the crowd, or even feel my legs. I was embarrassed and ashamed because the only thought in my head was to quit. Tynamite consoled me, and asked if I wanted to hide in the ambulance, probably thinking I was hurt from my fall. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t just hide. I sat up and tried to pull myself together. I wasn’t hurt, but maybe just my pride.

I sat and watched for a bit before I let Tyna put me back in as a blocker. I finally jammed once more before the first period was over, getting lead and promptly calling it off. So determined not to repeat the last jam, I didn't even realize their jammer was in the box. GLAD was getting a little beat up, but still managed to snag some points. Opehlia Fracture seemed to have found my Twinkle Toes power as she jumped and juked their hits. She scored 20 of our 30 points to their 77 as we stopped at the half.

We were only down by 47, a situation that we had found ourselves in a couple weeks prior, so we knew we weren’t done yet. I managed to crawl back out of my head for the second half, but I wasn’t all there. The rest of the bout is kind of a blur. We scored fewer points but managed some decent defense. It ended at 220 to 56. They were just. so. good.

That bout was definitely a wake up call. I was in pretty good shape at beginning of the year, with the roller derby workout, but that ended once I got busy with bouting season. We also used to work a lot more on our endurance in practice, but with so many bouts back to back, we spent more time on strategy and pack work. We weren’t terrible against them by any means, but there are definitely areas of improvement.

I personally plan on taking advantage of our break in bouting, and really get back into shape. Practicing for 6 hours a week is not enough. If anyone is truly serious about roller derby, it takes an independent effort to train and improve. Some people run. Some people do hot yoga. Some people get up at 4 am to go to a 10 week body sculpting program. Whatever it is that keeps you motivated to workout outside of practice, you’ve got to find it.

I had originally planned on trying out for Team USA since they were holding a preliminary at the Waterloo bootcamp, but I think I’ve changed my mind. Minnesota gave me all the feedback I need to realize I’m not ready yet, plus I need to direct any extra funds towards Rollercon. It’s going to be a busy and exciting summer, and I’m especially looking forward to watching the fresh meat grow. 

Pictures:

Joy Doehrmann's

Emily Sherman's 

Patrick Bloom's

FEARLESS.

Get to wear the green patch this weekend!
Hopefully it'll be pink soon.

As a three year old league, and a current WFTDA Apprentice member, we are seen as a young team. We’re not quite old enough to play with the big girls, but it is evident that we can hold our own with some teams that have experience behind them. In March we squeaked out a win against one of Madison’s home teams, the Unholy Rollers. Their All-star team, the Dairyland Dolls, stands 4^th in the North Central region, according to WFTDA’s 1st Quarter rankings. The next month we hosted the Kansas City Roller Warriors: Plan B Team, and beat them by a little over fifty points. Their All-Star team stands at the top of the South Central region rankings. This past Saturday we played the Omaha Rollergirls AAA team, winning 225 to 8. Their All-Star team, which just moved to the South Central region this year from the North, holds the #8 spot. 

Animal Mother and I chatted about this on the road trip to Omaha, and how we’re kind of the awkward pre-teen on the derby scene. We’re at that age where clothes from the girls section are too short or tight in weird places, but nothing fits quite right from the Juniors section. We’re sitting at 8-0, having beat a range of Iowa leagues as well as some WFTDA “B” squads. We’re working on getting that pink WFTDA patch, but going up against any of the top sanctioned teams would be laughable.

MNRG has some awesome jammers and even better defense.
Photo by Preflash Gordon

This Saturday we are hosting the Minnesota Rollergirls and they are bringing some tough competition. We had been wanting to schedule something with their “B Team” at some point this year, and when a chance arose for us to fit them in, we grabbed it. Since Minnesota has no formal B squad, and it being last minute, the roster we are up against looks to be a “second-string” All-Star team. WFTDA places the Minnesota All-Stars as #2 in the North Central Region. If we become WFTDA, we would be part of this region and may someday play their official All-Star team for rankings. The bout this weekend is going to be a good indicator of where we fall on a nationally competitive level. I’ve never been so terrified and excited in my life.

TEAMWORK

This will be bout #4 in our recent block of bouts. We went into the Brawlers bout with defense first and foremost on our minds. We focused on strong walls, smart jamming and better awareness, which held them to a mere 6 points. The following weekend, I think we lost sight of that goal and were down at the half against the Sioux City Roller Dames. Once we regrouped, and reminded ourselves of our collective goal, stopping their jammer, we turned the tables on Sioux City and pulled out a win. Saturday, we went into Omaha, unsure of what their AAA squad would be like, but with the plan to focus on their jammer with effective defense. They got 8 points on the board in the first half, but we held them scoreless in the second.

We know we can play solid defense, and work well together, so seeing names like Medusa, Lexi Cuter and Psycho Novia shouldn’t make my knees shake. Being deemed “Twinkletoes” this year shouldn’t make my stomach flop knowing I may get hit by Diamond Rough or Vueodoo Prodigy. We are going to have to use every ounce of our knowledge and ability this weekend, and we’re going to learn a lot, and probably remember what it’s like to lose.

It’s a big night for us, but especially for two new additions to the roster; Outlaw Jessie Pains, and Jenna JAMesON. They will graduate from fresh meat status by participating in their very first bout Saturday, and they’ve earned it. 

The anticipation is killing me, but I just have to remember that we are all playing the same game. If we can keep clear heads and just do the best we can, it will be a great way to go out on summer break. 

-L4D

Pictures from Omaha

Joy Doehrmann

Omaha Photog

Never Say Die.

Next to Funsize, I feel giant.
Cathy Kovach Photography

Going into the tenth jam of Saturday night, we had only scored four points. Sioux City had pushed their lead to 41 and I was getting frustrated. I knew we were a better team than this. Our walls were getting broken up and our jammers were not getting lead. At the rate of this point increase we were going to get annihilated. GLADi8HER put another 3 points on the board and we felt a small victory, until she went to the box and they power jammed their way to 51.

Finally I got in to jam again and took the line next to Anita Spur, one of their two very tiny skaters. I made my way through the pack and exited as lead jammer. As I made my way around I noticed their star was sitting in the box. Excellent. I pushed it hard for a few grand slams, cutting their lead in half. The crowd was roaring and I hoped that I renewed their faith in us, as well as our own. GLAD came back to score four more and then our momentum lagged for a few jams, but we kept them from barely scoring. After Triple D Zaster and A Few Screws Lucy added 5 and 4 points respectively, we got hammered with a 20 point grand slam by PBR. She was a strong and powerful force as a jammer, and extremely hard to knock down, but she wasn’t going to let us end the half on that note. I took advantage of their jammer in the box with 3 grand slams, putting it 82 to 49 at the half, their lead.

PBR was a force to contend with, jamming and
blocking back to back through most of the bout.
Photo by KORfan.

This was a strange bout to begin with because going into it we knew we needed to play some heavy defense. Anita Spur and Funsize both stand under five feet and hard to catch. The Triple Threat girls, PBR, Sum Mo Pain, and Dubbs, are solid blockers and know how to break up a wall. With Bat R Up out of town and our roster short one skater, we had to rearrange the way some of our usual lineups work. Ophelia Fracture spent a lot more time blocking in the first half as well as Trip, and we used a lot of power blocker combinations. We came into this bout prepared, but apparently we weren’t using the framework we provided ourselves for a solid defense.

Their jammers managed to slip through the pack, getting lead jammer more than half the jams, and were building solid walls. After my first power jam, they had a target on me and walled up in the back, forcing me into 3 back block minors in a matter of one lap which I proceeded to carry with me throughout the rest of the bout. They took control from the beginning, but we were slowly stealing it back.

We finally remembered what a wall looked like. Photo by KORfan.

With a solid rotation of GLAD, Ophelia and myself in the second half, we started hacking away at their lead, closing the gap to 19 points in just 4 jams. As we started getting lead jammer a majority of the time, and they started getting more friendly with the penalty box, we got to under ten points in the last quarter of the bout. A 13 point jam by Ophelia FINALLY put us in the lead with over 3 minutes left on the clock; 129 to 127. Now it was just a matter of tightening up our defense and keeping that lead. We held them scoreless for the last three jams as GLAD and myself added 12 more points to the board, and I called off the jam as the final seconds expired; 141 to 127. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized the amazing feat we just accomplished. We were an entirely different team in the second half; one I knew we could be. We were looking defeat in the eye for the first time in nearly a year, but it wasn’t going to be that night. On to Omaha. 

Cathy Kovach Photography

KORfan's Photos

Patrick Bloom's Photos

Joy Doehrmann's Photos

Brawl Your Heart Out.

A roller derby season can be different for everyone. Most WFTDA leagues begin in late winter, pick up heavily in the spring and summer preparing for the WFTDA regionals and championship in the fall. Some leagues have home teams that play earlier in the year allowing more time for their All-star teams to play in the spring and summer, or have the one team that plays home and away and must schedule accordingly.

More of the local teams I’ve noticed, either start in the fall or early spring. Either way, planning for this starts way in advance, usually up to a whole year prior. I know Toxic Sugar, our interleague coordinator is already looking at 2012 dates. Especially with our venue, which can host larges events in our bouting space, and contending with the University football schedule, we want to make sure we secure dates far in advance.

Our first bout.. we don't look scared at all...

When we first started bouting in 2009, we jumped on whatever bouts we could find. Our first was of course against our sister league, the Quad City Rollers. They did a lot for us in our beginnings when we had no clue. On the other side of us was Cedar Rapids and we ended up getting a bout with them the very next weekend. Not only were we entering the public bouting scene for the first time, but we did weekends back to back. It was terrifying and awesome and we managed to get out alive.

We held our first home bout that October after making the wonderful Coralville Marriott our home and it was the only bout on our own turf that year. In December we had an opportunity to drive up to Appleton, WI to play the Paper Valley Flying Squirrels, whose league is now WFTDA. They worked us over, fed us beer and cheese and sent us back home. That first year was definitely a huge learning experience. We were the new kids on the block so we had to play experienced leagues to build our team.

Four Wheel Clover was a face I saw in the star often. 

Mo Thunder holds up GLADi8HER.

This past weekend was the same song, different verse. In Cedar Valley’s first bouting season, they have a dozen dates on their schedule, all against leagues of varying experience. Although, the most notable date on their schedule would be July 7^th-10^th, the weekend they will be hosting a Blood and Thunder bootcamp. These four days will bring impressive skaters from all over to the middle of the country to unload all the derby knowledge they have. For as many new leagues as there are in the state now, I hope every one of them are taking advantage of this AMAZING opportunity. More experienced leagues would also be stupid for not making a point of including this in their training. If my funds hadn’t already been directed to Rollercon, I would have jumped on this in a heartbeat. (Maybe I could just sell my car and attend anyway?)

It is obvious these girls have guts. They’re pushing it hard in their first full bouting season and it shows. Having scheduled last Saturday’s bout well in advance, they knew what they were asking for and we played nothing short of roller derby. We held them scoreless at the half and ended the bout 298 to 6, but numbers don’t reveal their perseverance and attitude. They were not scrappy players, they didn’t give up, and they smiled the whole night. It was one of the best bouting experiences I’ve had, (not to mention my love affair with their floor) and I can’t wait to skate with them again.

Starting a sports league is hard. Starting a business is even harder. Starting a business with a sports team takes a lot of time and commitment. Beginning with a solid foundation and taking on a challenge will send a league far. Also, hot uniforms are must.

From this bout:
Photos by Joy Doehrmann
Photos by Donna Olmstead Photography
Blog Recap by the Dibrarian - who can do a CARTWHEEL on skates. Keep your eye on her...