Derby Heartbreak.

I meant to talk about our bout vs the Mid Iowa Rollers last week before I left town, but even writing about it now still makes me upset.

First of all, I just hate to lose. I’m a competitive person. I like to be the best and will get mad when I don’t do well. The week leading up to the bout, I imagined myself jamming:  breaking through walls, speeding around corners, trying to perfect a low, aerodynamic stance. Tynamite made the mistake of telling me days in advance that I was jamming first, so I tried my hardest to physically and mentally prepare for the bout. I was confident we would win.

Now all I can think about is how I messed up the last two jams. I keep playing it over and over in my head. In the second to last jam I was in as a blocker and had a strong wall going with Bat R Up, but I didn’t move quick enough and the jammer got around me. The score was too close to allow for this to happen, and it did. And then the biggest screw up of all, in the very last jam I was jamming and… went to the box. I just took out our only way of scoring points. I almost couldn’t watch from the box as the rest of the jam played out with me sitting helplessly in a chair.

I cried when we lost.

In all reality these last two jams were important, but there were about 56 other minutes that made up this bout that every one of the Old Capitol City Roller Girls put their heart and soul into. I really think we should have won. We were ahead the whole bout and only lost by a mere 3 points at the end. We had spectacular walls, awesome teamwork and professionalism on the track. I haven’t seen too many teams who work as together as well as we do besides maybe the Paper Valley Flying Squirrels. Nothing against any of the teams we have played who have all been strong teams on the track, but the communication and teamwork between skaters are vital to a successful jam, which we take pride in doing well.

In my heart we won that bout, which is why I hate looking back and seeing that we lost. I was so physically exhausted that when I got up for a huddle during a timeout, I about nearly puked. I acquired the most bruises from a bout that weekend than I ever had before, including the infamous waffle, and there are many moments I am proud of.

I just can’t get those last two jams out of my head, and now I will take them with me to the next bout and do even better. At the end of the day, I just need to put my competitive edge away, relax, and remember how fucking awesome roller derby is. 

-L4D