REDtribution.

Last Saturday was the MIR re-match. The time had come to seek vengeance on last year’s heartbreak. I had to prove to myself that I was better than last year and that we had really gotten somewhere as a team.

Warming up, I felt a little shaky. Eating the right balance of food can be tricky bout day, and my stomach was a little uncertain. Also MIR is one of the only other teams that we’ve played who also has a slick floor. I even felt like I was sliding around a bit too much in warm ups and didn’t feel entirely solid.

Tyna learned at last year’s bout not to play me first, so Ophelia Fracture took the line and put 8 up on the board for us, while Vyolent Grimm snagged 4 for MIR. The first jam sets the tone for me, and going to the jam line second I still wasn't sure. So far it looked like they weren’t just going to hand it over to us. Lolli Pop Ya took the line next to me, one of the only jammers that makes me feel small in the star. I entered the pack second, and got stuck on the outside and tripped up over a downed skater. I tried to save myself but fumbled to the floor, feeling a bit embarrassed. I brushed myself off and sped up to catch Lolli, forcing her to call it off after she got 4 points.

Jen growls her way through.

The third jam they put two more up on the board and had the lead for a brief moment until OFX busted our lead wide open with an 18 point jam. It looked like Lolli was playing a lot of back to back jams and primarily blocking, which left the jamming to Vyloent Grimm and some of their fresher skaters. We had a handful of our fresher meat with us that night too, relying on Jenna JAMisON and Outlaw Jessie Pains to fill out or jammer bench since GLADi8HER is out for awhile with injury.

This was also the debut night for JB and Red Tribution. Red, whose was a bridesmaid in her brother's wedding the following day, got whacked in the face in her very first jam. It sucked to see her out so early on, but I think it made her derby drive stronger. JB is a great trailer to anyone's truck, and helped block the crap out of one or two jammers. 

The uncertainty I felt during warm ups washed away quickly with several big jams, including a 23 point power jam. By the half we had a solid lead at 113 to their 53. I actually felt quite good on the track and wasn’t completely exhausted like I was by this time last year. Also, I think Your Dad needs to come up with a new nick name for me. In March I was “Twinkletoes” because I got really good at avoiding big hits while jamming, but now I’m dishing out the big hits while jamming. When you have the star on your head, everyone is out to get you. You can begin to anticipate when they’re going to lay a hit on you, especially if you try to take the coveted inside line. Why not just hit them first? 

I was awarded MVP.
It's a foot.

The second half began and we had to be careful not too get to comfortable in our lead, because last year they picked away at it in the second half and won in the final jam. We have been working on a lot of partner defense lately, and it was really showing in this bout. One particular jam I remember blocking in, it was just Jane Bang and myself on the track, minivanned by a nearly full MIR pack. We worked together and held off any serious damage and kept their jammer to only a few points.

We played a lot of smart strategy and kept control of the pack nearly the whole bout. It was reassuring to be working so well on the track after a long break of bouting and a bit of rotation in our roster. We won 246 to 114 in which I contributed 89 points- my highest scoring bout. My point differential was 71, which means I only allowed them 18 points against me while I jammed.  As a jammer, you’re only as good as your differential. It was good closure after my poor performance last year against MIR. 

This bout's photos:

Emily Sherman Photography

Dave Schrader

Erik Roys Photography

Nieuwenhuis Fotografie

Ed Cowan Photography

Des Moines Metromix

This post is dedicated to Red Tribution's broken nose. She'll be back with a vengeance...

Viva Rollercon.

I. am. in. Vegas.

To be honest, Vegas itself is pretty underwhelming. I’ve never really had the urge to come here because it’s expensive and gambling has never made much sense to me. (and the tunnel people!) But I’m not here to gamble or go to a fancy show, I am here for ROLLERCON. 

I’ve been nothing but excited the whole way here… the whole.. 27 hour way here. (Yes, we drove from IOWA CITY.) Last night Animal and I looked up which classes we want to take while we’re here. With those, the events, the challenge bouts to watch and you know, eating, this is going to be a VERY busy five days. Commence overwhelmsion.

I finally got some sleep last night, and I know I will make it all work. (work it out!) I just have to make peace with the fact that I probably won’t get to do everything I want to do. I also will have to exercise a little self control and limit my partying if I want to fit so many classes in. (the latter part will be hard.) Animal and I decided we will become Rollercon experts and then teach a preliminary class next year on how to do Rollercon right.

Team Christmas Miracle

We have already had lots of roller derby road trip practice this year. The weekend prior, Animal, Killer Baker, Fannysaurus Wrex and I drove to Lincoln, Nebraska to fill a hole in a double header weekend No Coast needed filled. They invited a few teams out to play, but when a team bowed out last minute they were scrambling to fill the spot. After many emails, and many potential plans, we ended up forming a mash up team with some girls from Sioux City, Sioux Falls, and Norfolk. They were so grateful they called us “Team Christmas Miracle.” Oh, did I mention we were taking on the No Coast Mad Maxines?

A moment of fear filled me prior to the bout, remembering the beating I was given against the Minnesota girls, but I let it go. I was  playing with girls I’d never played with before, against a WFTDA team I’d never seen play before; this bout was going to be a miracle anyway you look at it.

We danced and made friends.

First jam, I toed the line and looked up at the pack; the No Coast girls looked like giants, but the whistle blew and I looked past their two walls and exited, Lead Jammer! The first few jams we held them tight, but a few power jams later, they pulled way ahead. It didn’t matter. We showed them we meant business and I was ready to fight for every point. 

They won 200 to 46, but it felt a lot closer than that. I got my ass handed to me a few times, but I didn’t freak out and gave it everything I could. I felt bruised and broken and great afterwards and was awarded MVP of my team. We stuck around for the next day to help/watch the No Coast vs Ohio bouts which both No Coast teams pulled ahead and won in the final minutes. We danced our asses off at the after party and felt primed for Rollercon.

So bring it Rollecon. Give me everything you got. I’m ready to get my ass kicked. 

Self-Destruct.

I got a little cocky. Maybe bouting four weekends in a row wore me out. Or maybe I just got out of shape. Whatever it was, our bout against the Minnesota Rollergirls was not my finest.

All week I went through panicky fits of confidence and anxiety. I tried to reassure myself to just play roller derby like I normally do, and everything will be fine. I had seen them play on DNN, I had felt their hits at their boot camp, and we played out all the possible strategies they might use against us. We seemed to be completely prepared.

Our team warm-up happened as the audience started filling the Marriott, and we were feeling pretty solid. Next was equipment check and the nervous-standing-around-time as we waited for the bout to start. I looked over and saw Bat R was intensely messing with one of GLAD’s skates, it looked sucky. Wobbling around on my own skates something felt weird. I thought it was usual bout day paranoia but under further inspection I saw I was missing one of the nuts that holds my boot to my skate. Fuck. Apparently GLAD was having the same problem and Bat R was busy helping her. I ran over to Lukan, who was NSOing that night, hoping maybe he had extra hardware. He didn’t, but generously handed his own skate over for me to steal from. A few people helped me as I frantically tried to get the issue solved, but the announcers started warming the crowd, and I started freaking out. MNRG started their intros and it was obvious I wasn’t going to have enough time to fix this. Now I would be skating with faulty gear, but it was just unfortunate timing and I would have to deal. I jumped on the track just in time for our intro, but I stared at the floor the whole time.

They jammed L’exi Cuter and Medusa first, two of their all-star jammers, and we held them pretty close at 4 to 1. It was obviously going to be a battle but I felt we could hold our own. I took the line against Jax Kvass, better known to me as the Frau, and managed to get lead. As I came around the track MNRG was speeding away, using strategy we precisely anticipated. I finally caught up to them but they were still successfully booty blocking me. I managed to squeeze my hips forward and called it off. One point. I blocked and then jammed again, getting lead and only stealing two points before calling it off.

 The next time I took the line was the worst two minutes of my derby life. I battled through the pack on my initial, and just as I was seeing daylight, they sucked me back in. Veudoo Prodigy is a tiny beast on the track and she was all over me. She is the quickest person I’ve seen knock a player out and run twenty feet backwards. I was already exhausted as she did this to me, so I think I stepped back in front of her, losing the ability to gain lead. Frau had exited the pack and evidently didn’t gain lead either. This was a battle with no exit strategy. After I finally got out of the pack, I re-entered for a similar beating. I tried my best to avoid hits by Veudoo, and during one of my signature “don’t fucking touch me”  moves, she missed my body but knocked my feet out from under me. After nearly face-planting on the track, I peeled myself up and felt every ounce of energy I had leave my body. I tried to press on but could barely skate forward, let alone juke hits, and kept getting taken out on every turn. I managed to push through one scoring pass and as I was celebrating a silent victory, I got knocked back into the pack. It felt like ten minutes had gone by and I just wanted to give up. Four whistles finally ended my pathetic show and I fell in a sad heap behind our bench.

Tyna protecting me as I hid.

Bat R had called a time out to regroup but I couldn’t get up. I couldn’t face them, or look at the crowd, or even feel my legs. I was embarrassed and ashamed because the only thought in my head was to quit. Tynamite consoled me, and asked if I wanted to hide in the ambulance, probably thinking I was hurt from my fall. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t just hide. I sat up and tried to pull myself together. I wasn’t hurt, but maybe just my pride.

I sat and watched for a bit before I let Tyna put me back in as a blocker. I finally jammed once more before the first period was over, getting lead and promptly calling it off. So determined not to repeat the last jam, I didn't even realize their jammer was in the box. GLAD was getting a little beat up, but still managed to snag some points. Opehlia Fracture seemed to have found my Twinkle Toes power as she jumped and juked their hits. She scored 20 of our 30 points to their 77 as we stopped at the half.

We were only down by 47, a situation that we had found ourselves in a couple weeks prior, so we knew we weren’t done yet. I managed to crawl back out of my head for the second half, but I wasn’t all there. The rest of the bout is kind of a blur. We scored fewer points but managed some decent defense. It ended at 220 to 56. They were just. so. good.

That bout was definitely a wake up call. I was in pretty good shape at beginning of the year, with the roller derby workout, but that ended once I got busy with bouting season. We also used to work a lot more on our endurance in practice, but with so many bouts back to back, we spent more time on strategy and pack work. We weren’t terrible against them by any means, but there are definitely areas of improvement.

I personally plan on taking advantage of our break in bouting, and really get back into shape. Practicing for 6 hours a week is not enough. If anyone is truly serious about roller derby, it takes an independent effort to train and improve. Some people run. Some people do hot yoga. Some people get up at 4 am to go to a 10 week body sculpting program. Whatever it is that keeps you motivated to workout outside of practice, you’ve got to find it.

I had originally planned on trying out for Team USA since they were holding a preliminary at the Waterloo bootcamp, but I think I’ve changed my mind. Minnesota gave me all the feedback I need to realize I’m not ready yet, plus I need to direct any extra funds towards Rollercon. It’s going to be a busy and exciting summer, and I’m especially looking forward to watching the fresh meat grow. 

Pictures:

Joy Doehrmann's

Emily Sherman's 

Patrick Bloom's

Never Say Die.

Next to Funsize, I feel giant.
Cathy Kovach Photography

Going into the tenth jam of Saturday night, we had only scored four points. Sioux City had pushed their lead to 41 and I was getting frustrated. I knew we were a better team than this. Our walls were getting broken up and our jammers were not getting lead. At the rate of this point increase we were going to get annihilated. GLADi8HER put another 3 points on the board and we felt a small victory, until she went to the box and they power jammed their way to 51.

Finally I got in to jam again and took the line next to Anita Spur, one of their two very tiny skaters. I made my way through the pack and exited as lead jammer. As I made my way around I noticed their star was sitting in the box. Excellent. I pushed it hard for a few grand slams, cutting their lead in half. The crowd was roaring and I hoped that I renewed their faith in us, as well as our own. GLAD came back to score four more and then our momentum lagged for a few jams, but we kept them from barely scoring. After Triple D Zaster and A Few Screws Lucy added 5 and 4 points respectively, we got hammered with a 20 point grand slam by PBR. She was a strong and powerful force as a jammer, and extremely hard to knock down, but she wasn’t going to let us end the half on that note. I took advantage of their jammer in the box with 3 grand slams, putting it 82 to 49 at the half, their lead.

PBR was a force to contend with, jamming and
blocking back to back through most of the bout.
Photo by KORfan.

This was a strange bout to begin with because going into it we knew we needed to play some heavy defense. Anita Spur and Funsize both stand under five feet and hard to catch. The Triple Threat girls, PBR, Sum Mo Pain, and Dubbs, are solid blockers and know how to break up a wall. With Bat R Up out of town and our roster short one skater, we had to rearrange the way some of our usual lineups work. Ophelia Fracture spent a lot more time blocking in the first half as well as Trip, and we used a lot of power blocker combinations. We came into this bout prepared, but apparently we weren’t using the framework we provided ourselves for a solid defense.

Their jammers managed to slip through the pack, getting lead jammer more than half the jams, and were building solid walls. After my first power jam, they had a target on me and walled up in the back, forcing me into 3 back block minors in a matter of one lap which I proceeded to carry with me throughout the rest of the bout. They took control from the beginning, but we were slowly stealing it back.

We finally remembered what a wall looked like. Photo by KORfan.

With a solid rotation of GLAD, Ophelia and myself in the second half, we started hacking away at their lead, closing the gap to 19 points in just 4 jams. As we started getting lead jammer a majority of the time, and they started getting more friendly with the penalty box, we got to under ten points in the last quarter of the bout. A 13 point jam by Ophelia FINALLY put us in the lead with over 3 minutes left on the clock; 129 to 127. Now it was just a matter of tightening up our defense and keeping that lead. We held them scoreless for the last three jams as GLAD and myself added 12 more points to the board, and I called off the jam as the final seconds expired; 141 to 127. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized the amazing feat we just accomplished. We were an entirely different team in the second half; one I knew we could be. We were looking defeat in the eye for the first time in nearly a year, but it wasn’t going to be that night. On to Omaha. 

Cathy Kovach Photography

KORfan's Photos

Patrick Bloom's Photos

Joy Doehrmann's Photos

Brawl Your Heart Out.

A roller derby season can be different for everyone. Most WFTDA leagues begin in late winter, pick up heavily in the spring and summer preparing for the WFTDA regionals and championship in the fall. Some leagues have home teams that play earlier in the year allowing more time for their All-star teams to play in the spring and summer, or have the one team that plays home and away and must schedule accordingly.

More of the local teams I’ve noticed, either start in the fall or early spring. Either way, planning for this starts way in advance, usually up to a whole year prior. I know Toxic Sugar, our interleague coordinator is already looking at 2012 dates. Especially with our venue, which can host larges events in our bouting space, and contending with the University football schedule, we want to make sure we secure dates far in advance.

Our first bout.. we don't look scared at all...

When we first started bouting in 2009, we jumped on whatever bouts we could find. Our first was of course against our sister league, the Quad City Rollers. They did a lot for us in our beginnings when we had no clue. On the other side of us was Cedar Rapids and we ended up getting a bout with them the very next weekend. Not only were we entering the public bouting scene for the first time, but we did weekends back to back. It was terrifying and awesome and we managed to get out alive.

We held our first home bout that October after making the wonderful Coralville Marriott our home and it was the only bout on our own turf that year. In December we had an opportunity to drive up to Appleton, WI to play the Paper Valley Flying Squirrels, whose league is now WFTDA. They worked us over, fed us beer and cheese and sent us back home. That first year was definitely a huge learning experience. We were the new kids on the block so we had to play experienced leagues to build our team.

Four Wheel Clover was a face I saw in the star often. 

Mo Thunder holds up GLADi8HER.

This past weekend was the same song, different verse. In Cedar Valley’s first bouting season, they have a dozen dates on their schedule, all against leagues of varying experience. Although, the most notable date on their schedule would be July 7^th-10^th, the weekend they will be hosting a Blood and Thunder bootcamp. These four days will bring impressive skaters from all over to the middle of the country to unload all the derby knowledge they have. For as many new leagues as there are in the state now, I hope every one of them are taking advantage of this AMAZING opportunity. More experienced leagues would also be stupid for not making a point of including this in their training. If my funds hadn’t already been directed to Rollercon, I would have jumped on this in a heartbeat. (Maybe I could just sell my car and attend anyway?)

It is obvious these girls have guts. They’re pushing it hard in their first full bouting season and it shows. Having scheduled last Saturday’s bout well in advance, they knew what they were asking for and we played nothing short of roller derby. We held them scoreless at the half and ended the bout 298 to 6, but numbers don’t reveal their perseverance and attitude. They were not scrappy players, they didn’t give up, and they smiled the whole night. It was one of the best bouting experiences I’ve had, (not to mention my love affair with their floor) and I can’t wait to skate with them again.

Starting a sports league is hard. Starting a business is even harder. Starting a business with a sports team takes a lot of time and commitment. Beginning with a solid foundation and taking on a challenge will send a league far. Also, hot uniforms are must.

From this bout:
Photos by Joy Doehrmann
Photos by Donna Olmstead Photography
Blog Recap by the Dibrarian - who can do a CARTWHEEL on skates. Keep your eye on her...

Pulling Up My Big Kid Pants.

This season has been a bit harder to wrap my mind around because we’ve been playing more teams we’ve never played before. Sometimes it’s the anticipation that gets you, or familiarity that gets you through. Coming up against the Eastern Iowa Outlaws last weekend was a bit weird because I had played against some of them as Cedar Rapids Rollergirls and skated with some of them during our open scrimmage, but had never seen them play as a team. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect but was feeling pretty confident after our win against Kansas.

Bat R Up and Jane Bang contain Krystallica,
a regular sub for EIO.
Photo by Brian Scott.

EIO plays in an event center so they skate on a concrete floor. They coated the floor with a sticky substance, similar to D3, to give it more grip. It was pretty sticky but didn’t gunk up my wheels, so that was a plus. I did have to borrow some harder wheels from Glad, but otherwise I felt pretty good. I’ve noticed that I try to excuse my performance due to the surface we skate on, but that’s how it goes with flat-track roller derby. Being able to skate on any flat surface is what makes it so accessible to so many people all over the globe, so I have to buck up and deal with whatever floor comes our way. If plowing was going to be hard, then I would have just use the stick to my advantage and use better footwork.

I jammed second again, and after a solid first go around by Ophelia, I felt ready. I took the jam line with V-train to my right and instincts told me she liked to hit off the line. If you can knock the opposing jammer out of bounds before entering the engagement zone, then she cannot obtain lead jammer status. It’s a good strategy that isn’t always used, but definitely something to be aware of. So when the whistle blew I didn’t budge; which gave her a major elbow and me free range of the track.

I did more blocking in this bout. I enjoyed it.
Photo by Mark Dierker

From there we started building a solid lead. They seemed to be playing a hitting game which often left them spread out, leaving paths for our jammers. They also spent a lot of time in the box in the first half, but we too got in a bit of penalty trouble. Their score jumped during a few power jams with Krystallica, a sub from the Midwest Derby Divas, on the track, but by the half we were up by nearly 100 points, 164 to 65.

Triple D Zaster had a great night.

In the second half I happily blocked a lot more, which gave more time for Triple D Zaster in the star. She had a stellar performance including a magnificent apex jump. It was also the debut bout for Maker C. Stars who is becoming quite the force on the track. We held about 100 points over them the rest of the bout, with the final score of 243 to 122.

So far this season I think the biggest thing I’ve learned, on and off the track, is that it does no good to worry about the things outside myself. I cannot control the surface I will skate on, the skaters I will skate against or how the refs officiate. I will adjust my skills, skate harder and take the ref calls in stride, but I will not get frustrated or give up. Even if I am unfamiliar with my opposition, I will be prepared for anything and focus what I will do, not what they will do. Everyday is a day to improve, and I will keep evolving.

Photos from this bout:

Joy Doehrmann's Photos 

Patrick Bloom's Photos

Mark Dierker's Photos

Bryan Scott's Photos 

In Control.

Going into Saturday’s bout I wasn’t nervous. I wasn’t confident either. In fact I hadn’t really thought much about the bout all week, nor had much feeling about it either way. That made me nervous. After our month of March madness I went through a fit of uncertainty and doubt but felt I had overcome it. The bout on April 9^th    against the Kansas City Roller Warriors Plan B Team was going to be a test to see if I had recovered completely.

Ophelia Fracture was a rockstar jammer Saturday and scored almost half our points.

I’ve started to build up a routine come bout day, and it took me most of last season to figure it out. I wake up and have my favorite breakfast egg sandwich, complete with imagination, and enhale some version of caffeine. Then I finish up whatever errands I put off to bout day, whether it is cleaning my bearings (oops) or finding the last bits of my boutfit. Then I get to the Marriott at noon (1 or 2pm) to help setup whatever still needs done. Around 3 I start getting my boutfit on and doing my make up. The drippy black eyes were born out of the Malice in Derbyland bout from last April and went through different variations until I just stuck with the original incarnation. I’ve done a few bouts without any at all and it just looks wrong, so now they are a must.

Then I get my ipod and take the track for a bit. I like to skate around, stretch and groove out to Girl Talk’s Feed the Animals album and pretend I can jam skate. Before I know it, the other team rolls in, we go through warm ups and we’re to equipment check. The audience is filing in and the announcers are warming up their vocal chords. Game on.

Twinkletoeing my way down the line.

Warming up as a team felt pretty good Saturday, so that reassured my non-nervous nerves a bit. I had know clue what to expect, so my goal was to give it my all and see what happens.

Ophelia jammed first, and although failed to get lead, followed their jammer out of the pack, forcing her to call it off. I was up next. Slicing through the pack the first time was fairly easy and as I made my way around for the scoring pass, their jammer still hadn’t gotten out of the pack. I made four grand slams before I called it off, and she never saw the front of the pack.

It was 20 to 0 and I was in this 100%.

After the sixth jam it was our lead, 41 to 7 and I was feeling pretty good about the bout. In the following jam, Glad took the star to the box and I took a deep breath hoping this wouldn’t throw off our game. We gave them 20 points, cutting our lead in half and forcing us to scramble. For a few jams we saw a steady rotation of our blockers through the penalty box but the closest their score got was within 9 points;  we never gave up the lead. Despite constantly having the disadvantage on the track, our jammers fought hard to still make scoring passes and our blockers introduced their jammers to floor repeatedly. It wasn’t pretty, but we maintained and finished the half 115 to 102.

Half time. Refresh, re-energize, repeat. I was frustrated because the biggest thing hurting us was that we kept losing control of the pack. Control is hard to come by when there are only two blockers on the track, so our goal was to remedy this in the second half. Returning to the track we knew that Bat R Up and Jane Bang were standing in the box with only a few seconds left. I took the line as pivot, my one of only three times blocking that night, with A Few Screws Lucy at my side. The whistle blew and we didn’t budge. Kansas took off but lingered just close enough that the pack maintained behind the line. Bat R and Bang rejoined us and we took off, got Glad through as lead and she hit and quit it for one point.

Bat R Up leaves a jammer in the dust.
Emily Sherman Photography

The second half seemed to switch, and we were feeling more confident on the track as more of their skaters made it to the box. Halfway through the second half, we widened our lead to 56 points with the score of 176 to 120. By keeping more blockers on the track, we had more control and the game was ours again. They seem to get tired and frustrated but we were still going strong. I jammed a total of 13 times that night totaling 62 points. I didn't feel jittery or tired and felt like I could still take on the world.

Blocking in the last jam, I watched Ophelia Fracture score 9 points, call it, and the bout was over. I looked around and realized we had just won our fourth bout in a row! It felt as unreal as Madison, but a much more confident win. In our third season I finally have found my feet and my routine and I think the team has as well. By investing in an emphasis on teamwork, endurance and excellent sportsmanship, we are dominating on the track. So far our home bouts have been a big success and its obvious lots of new fans are finding us. It’s the year of OCCRG.

KILL, KILL, KILL!

Cathy Kovach Photography

Emily Sherman Photography albums 1, and 2.

Joy Doehrmann's photos
Dave Schrader's photos

Patrick Bloom's photos

Mauro Heck's photos

KCRW Plan B photographer

MIR vs Rockford

With unlimited funds and time, I would try to make every bout possible, and watch as much derby as I could, but I can't. It's nice to have extra eyes in the derby world, so here's another bout recap by Dave Schrader. He would be the one front and center trackside, behind a camera. I believe he's been to every one of our bouts since early last season, and makes it to many others. Someone should sponsor him to at least pay for the gas he burns, driving from Illinois and even following us on our three week bender to Madison and Des Moines. Earning his superfan status, he sat with us during Championals in Chicago last November to watch some topnotch derby. It's exciting to find people who follow roller derby like it was football or baseball. Plus I think we love anyone who takes great pictures. Here's his bout recap of the Mid Iowa Rollers against the Rockford Rage Ragdolls from April 2nd.
-L4D

Mz Lolli Pop Ya, lead jammer.

Bout was held at Rockford's Indoor Sports Center, so Rockford wore black and MIR wore blue. There were no outside pack refs so they didn't ruin any photos, and four (or five?) inside. I was singled out by the announcer before the bout because I was the only person in suicide seating along the second straightaway (he tagged me during second period as well because I was showing enthusiasm). DD Hunter was out with an injury so she worked as jam timer and I later complimented her on doing everything properly as far as I could tell. The crowd was a little smaller than the Rage bouts usually draw.

Jamming for Rockford was split between Meeso Thorny (15), Barbie Got Back (10) and Pow Bella (10) with Short Fuse wearing the star for 5 jams, Red Hot Chili Mama 3, and Taryn Skulz 2 (once with a penalty that carried over). MIR relied heavily on Mz Lolli Pop Ya (17) and Vyolent Grimm (16), although RayNa OutRAGE jammed 4 times in the first period (0 in second), Anna Killakova 7, and Wonton Hammer once in second period. Lead jammer status was split evenly between both teams; first period 10/10 and second period 9 RR, 10 MIR. Jammer penalties were first period Rockford 3, MIR 4, and second period was RR 1 MIR 2. Both teams were missing a few skaters due to injuries.

First period started out with Meeso Thorny getting lead jammer and calling it off with 3 points. This brought our first official time out because the scoreboard and game clock reset to zero. Kudos to the DJ for playing the Imperial March from Star Wars during official time outs. MIR's RayNa OutRAGE got lead status in the second jam but called it off because Barbie Got Back was on her heels as they approached the pack. Rockford held lead jammer for the next three jams with Pow Bella scoring a grand slam when Anna Killakova took MIR's star to the penalty box where she was joined by two of her blockers. Rayna finally put MIR on the board in jam five and it was 12-3 Rockford, but RayNa was sent to the sin bin at the end of the jam. Barbie Got Back came out for Rockford's power jam and scored two grand slams before being sent to the box herself (both jammers penalized, take a drink), thus releasing RayNa to score her own grand slam and earn another penalty (both jammers in box, drink), making the score 25-8 for Rockford.

Meeso Thorny slipping by Anna Killakova

Both jammers started in the box (I've seen this before and it still confuses me, although Barbie was standing) and Barbie pushed Rockford further ahead to make it 34-8. The ladies in blue then shook off the travel doldrums, got used to the track, or figured out the Ragdolls' defense because this is when they got their game on. MIR attained lead jammer status five of the next six jams and held Rockford to only one point while scoring 21, so it was 35-29 and we had a real contest. It was four-and-done, rinse, repeat. Jam 14 saw Barbie and the Ragdolls break the cycle by getting lead jammer and 2 points. Pow Bella picked up 1 point for Rockford to Vyolent Grimm's 3 for MIR (38-32) but she also caught a penalty and took the black star to the box. Lolli Pop Ya racked up14 points in the power jam to put MIR ahead 38-46 (lead change, take a drink). Red Hot Chili Mama wore the star (first time tonight) for Rockford in Jam 17, got lead, 4 points, and called it. Jam 18 saw Meeso Thorny facing Anna Killakova, Meeso got lead and the referees called the jam dead leaving it 42-46 MIR. An official time out ensued, so we heard the Imperial March again. Jam 19 had the same lineup, with Meeso gaining lead jammer again and Anna taking the blue star to the sin bin, allowing Meeso to score three grand slams to push Rockford ahead 57-46. Lead change, take a drink; official time out and we're hearing some disco crap. MIR came back solid, with Anna coming out of the box to gain lead jammer, as did the blue jammers for the next three jams, with the final jam of the half showing Lolli Pop Ya racking 14 and Short Fuse heading to the box with the Rockford star, allowing MIR to pull ahead 62-66 (lead change, drink).

The second period began with MIR's Vyolent Grimm getting the L but calling the jam because Meeso was hot on her booty as they approached the pack. Barbie Got Back got the lead in jam 2, hit 4 and quit to tie the bout at 66. Lolli Pop Ya came back with a mirror performance to make it 66-70 MIR. Red Hot Chili Mama faced off against Vyolent in jam 4 and we witnessed a stunning display of blocker prowess as neither jammer was able to complete her initial pass. We had two minutes of blockers cycling back in front of the jammer and blockers knocking jammers out of bounds while staying upright, in play, and slowing to a stop to force the jammer to reenter behind the pack. It was solid, solid defense. Points and lead jammer status were traded for the next two jams, and then Jam 7 saw Pow Bella pull the Ragdolls ahead 80-77 (drink) and tried to call off the jam, earning a minor penalty because she wasn't lead jammer. MIR got lead jammer the next three jams but wasn't able to prevent Rockford from scoring so they held their lead 89-81. Rockford earned the L two of the next three jams, but the third saw Vyolent Grimm score a grand slam over Pow Bella to close the gap to five points (93-88 Rockford). Rockford got lead the next three jams and held MIR scoreless to break the century mark (108-88) and stretch their lead to 20 including a jam in which Vyolent Grimm took MIR's star to the box and Barbie picked up 10. Lolli Pop Ya got 9 back on the next jam to show MIR wasn't out of the game.

Lots of action shots of Vyolent Grimm who looks like she skated her butt off in this bout.

I didn't note the jam in which it happened, but one second period jam saw the MIR jammer spend the entire time trying to get past Barbie Got Back while she was blocking. Barbie had it going on and life was hard under the blue star. Taryn Skulz wore Rockford's star in jam 18 but earned a trip to the box although Grimm wasn't able to bring home any points. Mz Lolli Pop Ya came out for the power jam but only squeezed out five points, so Rockford still held the edge 108-102. Meeso Thorny was looking tired as she hit 'n' quit for 4 to make it 112-102, but we all know 10 points isn't an insurmountable lead. Barbie Got Back faced off against Anna Killakova in jam 21 with under three minutes remaining. Barbie fought hard but her fatigue showed once Anna collected her fourth minor penalty and took MIR's hopes to the penalty box. Barbie scored 6 to raise the Rockford lead 118-102, and Iowa called timeout with 33.6 seconds on the clock. Meeso Thorny lined up against Mz Lolli Pop Ya in the final jam. Meeso got lead jammer and, showing the same smile she always wears while jamming, called the bout.

The bout was fairly disciplined derby. There was only one minor injury and two stoppages for lost toe stops. MIR had 16 trips to the box to Rockford's 10, and that includes the 10 jammer visits from both teams. Meeso Thorny got lead jammer 10 of the 15 times she jammed, Barbie was lead 5 of 10, and Pow Bella lead 2 of 10. For MIR Pop Ya lead 8 of 17, Grimm and lead 8 of 16, and Anna lead 2 of 7, but three of AK's jams included trips to the penalty box. The derby half of the bar erupted in cheers when some of the sports bar's tv's showed a local newscast reporting on the bout; the soccer side of the house caught on as well although they might have been a little jealous.

Schrader's MIR vs Rockford photo album

This is What Roller Derby Looks Like.

Taking the jam line I looked at the scoreboard; 141 to 123. It’s our lead, with a minute and some change left on the clock. Breathe. Ok, I can do this. All I have to do is jam hard, get lead, waste some time and call it off. We’ve got a comfy lead, and with Bat R, Opehlia, Zom B and Fanny in the pack, this should be a piece of cake.

Tweet.

Tweet. Tweet.

I come around turn 1, turn 2; enter the pack. With a little space between their two front blockers and the line I go for it. Bam. I get hit from the right and my feet fly out from under me kicking the girl in front of me and knocking her down.

NONONONONONONO.

Tweet. “Black 333! Major low block!”

FUCK.

I skate hard to the box and sit down. I cover my face. I can’t watch. I can’t watch. I have to watch. What’s happening? Bat R is skating around coming to the box to join me… with Ophelia right behind her. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Fanny and Zom B try their best to keep it together but the red blockers are hitters. Fanny twirls around and falls to the inside, her toe guard flapping because her toe stop has fallen out. NONONONONO.

Zom B is on the track, by herself, against 3 reds, doing the best she can. Twisted Halo is making the rounds, the crowd getting louder every lap. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Black 333, stand!”

Oh wait. There’s still time. My penalty is over.

“Black 333, done!”

GOGOGOGOGOGO.

I’m not sure how many points she’s scored or how close it’s gotten, but I just skate as hard as I can. I catch the blockers in a "no pack" on my initial pass and head back around, hot on Halo’s heels. I’m waiting for her to call it but she keeps skating. I skate harder, faster. Get through the pack. Just get through the pack. I finish my second lap and the time expires. I come around turn two to face the scoreboard and as it stands, it says 141 to 143, their lead. I fill with panic and tears. It can’t be true. Our score ticks up to 145, theirs remains 143. Really? REALLY? The refs huddle and forever goes by.

“Yes, the score is official! Old Capitol City takes the win!”

NO FUCKING WAY! We won? We really won? This can’t be true. WE WON! WE FUCKING DID IT! 

Going into this bout against the Unholy Rollers of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls, the most we were hoping for was to lose graciously and learn from the experience. We were baffled after holding them scoreless for five or six jams and suddenly our plan changed. We had a chance and we were going to fight for it. The first half of the period we were solid. As jammers, we hit it and quit it, gathering our points and shutting down the opposing jammer. With some heavy hitters, they started breaking our walls and making us lose focus. They got a few good jams in and suddenly we were scrambling and picking up penalties. The score became tied and then flipped between us and them for lead until the half. We had 63 to their 62.

A Few Screws Lucy, a transfer from EIO has been a great
addition to OCCRG.

We were ecstatic. We were in this and we were going to leave it all out on the track. Going into the second period, not much had changed from the first, and penalties started pouring into the box. Ophelia and Glad were pushing it hard and racking up some points. Trip kept her elbows to herself like a good girl and pushed us further. I did well at the beginning but felt myself struggling later. The floor was stickier than I was used to, and their 2/2 defense was working well. I kept going around the outside and getting stuck at the front, tripping over my feet.. Blocking was tough, but they advertised most of their hits so I just worked around them.

I was so nervous while waiting on our bench before the last jam with the star in my hand. I almost couldn’t watch. I wanted to puke or cry, but then Glad’s power jam pushed us to a nearly 20 point lead.  Everything seemed to fall perfectly into place and all I had to do was put them out of their misery. A flashback of MIR went through my head and I pushed it aside; there was no way that could happen again.

And then it did.

Almost exactly. I get called out on my initial pass with Bat R right behind me and everything we built crumbled. This time I didn’t give up, and I was given a second chance to get back in there. We VERY nearly lost it, and against all odds, with one blocker on the track, we won.

Bring on the rest of the season, I’m ready. 

Here's a video I later made about the weekend.

Check out pictures from this bout:

Cathy Kovach Photography

Emily Sherman Photography Album 1, Album 2

Dutcher Photography

KORfan

Left 4 Deadwards as Twinkletoes.

Jr High track - "chicken legs," not CRZY LEGS.

So they say hard work pays off. Practice makes perfect. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. You can do anything you put your mind to… They all kind of sound like bullshit phrases that hang on a wall in a high school gym teacher’s office. At that age, I hated school but did love to play sports. I was the girl who sweated in gym class and wanted to play football with the boys. I played softball and basketball and even tried track for awhile and was pretty decent all around. I had the competitive edge that pushed me just enough to try, but not enough passion to try, try again.

At a certain point I was no longer the tall third grader who could rebound or the long legged first baseman who could reach for the ball. My peers started to surpass me and get better and I didn’t care enough to work any harder. By the time I graduated, I had quit the sports I played almost all my life.

Last Saturday I felt what it was like to really excel at what I do. I’ve been playing roller derby for over two years now and I’m feeling myself improve; the things I had been practicing over and over were starting to come natural. And it’s not just me. On the track I saw cohesion and smart derby from our team. Nothing has really changed about the way we train; we’ve just gotten better at the things we’ve been practicing, together. The best thing any team can do, is practice with each other often, and our emphasis on attendance is definitely paying off.

Swiss MisFit's debut bout.
Photo by Patrick Bloom

We began our second full bouting season with a strong victory against the Quad City Rollers, 191 to 83. It was kind of nice to be playing a familiar face in our season opener since we’re playing a lot of new teams this year.  We started the bout strong by controlling the pack with solid walls and lead jammer status, to hold QCR scoreless until about the sixth jam. As a team, our goal going into this bout was better communication and focus, and to work together. In roller derby, offense and defense is played at the same time, so you have to be ready to switch tactics quickly and fluidly depending on which jammer is in the pack. These tactics change immensely when one of the jammers is not even on the track. With our jammer in the box, we sped it up, and with theirs off the track we trapped a skater to slow it to a near standstill.

DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!
Emily Sherman Photography

One of my own personal jammer goals was to work harder at taking the inside, instead of defaulting to the outside. The inside line is often the most heavily guarded so a jammer may be tempted to just take the outside, but that is most tantalizing for heavy hitters. To counteract that, I like to employ the move taught by Suzy Hotrod as “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!”

In normal skating posture, I am low and my hitting zones are forward. The blocker will lock onto this and make a cut out to hit. This is when I suddenly straighten up and go the other direction. Their committed momentum takes them flying off the track as I am slipping through the inside. I managed to use DFTM *3* times in a row against an admittedly beautiful waterfall by the QCR pack, thus Your Mom renaming me “Twinkletoes”

I also focused on my GOGOGO skills. As a jammer, I have two minutes or less to get around as many times as I can to score points. When DFTM fails and I do get knocked out or down, those few seconds of recovery time really count. I can’t waste time waiting for the pack or a blocker to move forward so I can re-enter behind them. If I can get back in play as quick as possible, they are often still recovering from the block they just gave, giving me time to speed around them before they can re-adjust their stance.

Sneaking through the inside to try and snag some points on the fourth whistle.
Cathy Kovach Photography

Looking back now, the bout was such a blur. I remember some of these small accomplishments but as a whole I couldn’t tell you how well I did. Now that we’re an apprentice league we have to keep in-depth stats like the WFTDA teams do. It is insane. I can tell you that I jammed 11 times and only blocked in 3. I scored 55 points and got lead jammer 7 times. I sat in the box for one major backblock (which I remember doing specifically, oops) and 3 minors: cutting the track, out of bounds blocking, and out of bounds skating.  Then there are fifty other columns that I don’t understand, but my love for lists finds this all very helpful. All these numbers are made possible by the WONDERFUL volunteers who help run the bout. All the people you see holding timers or clipboards are non-skating officials (NSOs) and are invaluable to each of our bouts.

We also had an army of fresh meat to
help at the bout.
Emily Sherman Photography

Coming out of that bout I feel very confident and excited looking into the next two weekends. Saturday we play one of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls' home teams, the Unholy Rollers. They are current league champions and have some skaters who play actual WFTDA bouts; it’s daunting to the say the least. I’ve made myself OK with the fact that we might lose, but it will be worth it for the great experience of playing a team that has been around much longer than we have. Despite all that, I feel we are going to surprise them and possibly squeak out a victory?

The following weekend, we head to Des Moines to play the Dames to further our so called "rivalry". I watched their season opener last month, and they are looking pretty strong. MOAB is laying out some killer hits and Cosmo is really pushing it as a jammer. There is of course the always popular Stella Italiana, but we will also be bringing the infamous Kraken. I’m hoping the bout will be more than all the hype, because I’m ready for some hardcore, intense, bad ass roller derby this season, so everybody better BRING IT! 

-L4D aka Twinkletoes

Check out pictures from this bout:
Emily Sherman Photography Album 1, Album 2.
KORfan
Cathy Kovach Photography
Jeff Hicock (QCR photog)
Erik Roys Photography
Patrick Bloom
Tracy Pierce