Monday, March 21, 2011

This is What Roller Derby Looks Like.

Taking the jam line I looked at the scoreboard; 141 to 123. It’s our lead, with a minute and some change left on the clock. Breathe. Ok, I can do this. All I have to do is jam hard, get lead, waste some time and call it off. We’ve got a comfy lead, and with Bat R, Opehlia, Zom B and Fanny in the pack, this should be a piece of cake.


Tweet. Tweet.

I come around turn 1, turn 2; enter the pack. With a little space between their two front blockers and the line I go for it. Bam. I get hit from the right and my feet fly out from under me kicking the girl in front of me and knocking her down.


Tweet. “Black 333! Major low block!”


I skate hard to the box and sit down. I cover my face. I can’t watch. I can’t watch. I have to watch. What’s happening? Bat R is skating around coming to the box to join me… with Ophelia right behind her. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Fanny and Zom B try their best to keep it together but the red blockers are hitters. Fanny twirls around and falls to the inside, her toe guard flapping because her toe stop has fallen out. NONONONONO.

Zom B is on the track, by herself, against 3 reds, doing the best she can. Twisted Halo is making the rounds, the crowd getting louder every lap. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Black 333, stand!”

Oh wait. There’s still time. My penalty is over.

“Black 333, done!”


I’m not sure how many points she’s scored or how close it’s gotten, but I just skate as hard as I can. I catch the blockers in a "no pack" on my initial pass and head back around, hot on Halo’s heels. I’m waiting for her to call it but she keeps skating. I skate harder, faster. Get through the pack. Just get through the pack. I finish my second lap and the time expires. I come around turn two to face the scoreboard and as it stands, it says 141 to 143, their lead. I fill with panic and tears. It can’t be true. Our score ticks up to 145, theirs remains 143. Really? REALLY? The refs huddle and forever goes by.

“Yes, the score is official! Old Capitol City takes the win!”

NO FUCKING WAY! We won? We really won? This can’t be true. WE WON! WE FUCKING DID IT! 

Going into this bout against the Unholy Rollers of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls, the most we were hoping for was to lose graciously and learn from the experience. We were baffled after holding them scoreless for five or six jams and suddenly our plan changed. We had a chance and we were going to fight for it. The first half of the period we were solid. As jammers, we hit it and quit it, gathering our points and shutting down the opposing jammer. With some heavy hitters, they started breaking our walls and making us lose focus. They got a few good jams in and suddenly we were scrambling and picking up penalties. The score became tied and then flipped between us and them for lead until the half. We had 63 to their 62.

A Few Screws Lucy, a transfer from EIO has been a great
addition to OCCRG.
We were ecstatic. We were in this and we were going to leave it all out on the track. Going into the second period, not much had changed from the first, and penalties started pouring into the box. Ophelia and Glad were pushing it hard and racking up some points. Trip kept her elbows to herself like a good girl and pushed us further. I did well at the beginning but felt myself struggling later. The floor was stickier than I was used to, and their 2/2 defense was working well. I kept going around the outside and getting stuck at the front, tripping over my feet.. Blocking was tough, but they advertised most of their hits so I just worked around them.

I was so nervous while waiting on our bench before the last jam with the star in my hand. I almost couldn’t watch. I wanted to puke or cry, but then Glad’s power jam pushed us to a nearly 20 point lead.  Everything seemed to fall perfectly into place and all I had to do was put them out of their misery. A flashback of MIR went through my head and I pushed it aside; there was no way that could happen again.

And then it did.

Almost exactly. I get called out on my initial pass with Bat R right behind me and everything we built crumbled. This time I didn’t give up, and I was given a second chance to get back in there. We VERY nearly lost it, and against all odds, with one blocker on the track, we won.

Bring on the rest of the season, I’m ready. 

Here's a video I later made about the weekend.

Check out pictures from this bout:


  1. Love it, Deadwards. You brought Saturday night rushing back and I admit I got a little teary eyed again. You guys rocked it! I've never been more proud to know a group of women - EVER.


  2. Awesome write up! Thank you for sharing this with those of us who couldn't make it! And congrats again!

    Oskaloosa Mayhem Girls

  3. Wish I'd been there, but reading this was almost as good. You ROCK.

  4. Priceless!!! This bout moves to to the very top of my list of awesome derby moments. As always, bad-ass write up Deadwards!!


  5. Yep-Sugar is crying.
    Proud to be on the bench with you. Wish I could be skating beside you! You woman rocked and rolled! You deserved this WIN!

  6. REALLY wish that I could have been there skating with you on Saturday! I am so proud of our team and so thankful to be a part of it! Thank you so much for bringing the bout to life through your memories and words! Can't wait for this coming Saturday!

  7. I've never been so happy to see those crazy legs! I thought that I had thrown the whole thing away and that the reinforcements were never coming... and then there you were. Pure sorrow when I thought that we had lost, unadulterated joy when the official score was confirmed.