No Excuses

Me as a newb.

Foreward
When recruitment comes around, I always start thinking about what it takes to be a derby girl. Most outsiders think we're all former speed skaters, violent, super tough, or "big, scary dykes"... There is no one type of person that makes up roller derby; it is a very diverse crowd to get involved with. We are gay, straight, tough, sensitive, experienced and not; there's no prescribed personality for it. Most people I hear from don't quite know what to think about it, but almost always immediately say the couldn't possibly play. 

That's what made us different; we said we could.

The simple belief of yes I can, that first step into the local rink/gym/park, the courage to put on a pair of skates- that's what made us all different from everyone else. 

People who play roller derby range in age, aggression, body type and background. I would say that most people have no formal skating experience and quite a few have probably never played an organized sport. Most lead very busy lives- students, moms, doctors, multiple jobs. Most of us aren’t rich either, and this isn’t a cheap sport.

This sport prides itself on being grassroots and by the skaters. It has grown at an incredibly fast rate, and it has been all by our own hands. We do not get paid to train, we do not get paid to run our league as a successful business, but we do have to do it all in our free time. So before you say you “can’t,” look at all these strong men and women who have built this sport and try it for yourself. It is definitely not for everyone but you won’t know until you try- you might love it.

Believing you can is the first step. The next step is deciding to commit yourself to this amazing sport, to be open to new things and to push yourself to work harder than you ever have before.

This begins a series of posts that will highlight what it takes mentally and physically to play roller derby. I will give some insight for the new skaters, and new ways to push older skaters. I’m about to hit my 3 year anniversary playing roller derby and begin my second year coaching. I’m trying to learn as much as I can to push myself forward and pass along what I learn. Take it all with a grain of salt, and alter it to your own needs; I just hope I can help in some way.

No Excuses: Mental Training
No Excuses: Dynamic Warm Ups
No Excuses: No Train No Gain

Slow Derby to No Derby.

A year ago, slow derby was on the rise and the shouting match between the ‘slow derby sucks’ and the ‘it’s just strategy’ crowds began. SDS proponents think derby should be all fast all the time and don’t like any clockwise or slow, stepping action. The pro-strategy group think it is all just part of the game. I’m torn between whether a majority of the strategists really feel that way, or just find themselves feeling defensive. I think I kind of fell into the latter part of that crowd because I felt like derby was mine and anyone who criticized it should just burn in hell.

So let’s review.

In my last slow derby post, the conversation broke down into three main concepts, but the prevailing criticism is about slow or stalled action at the start of a jam that prevents the release of the jammers, and thus scoring points. (The objective of the game.)

The first form of stalled action was after the first whistle blew: team A would move forward slowly or not at all. It might catch team B off guard when they jump off the line, giving A a solid back wall. Then it became about burning time if A had a blocker or jammer in the box. A way to deal with it was for all of B to just skate forward, causing a ten foot separation and no pack; jammer whistle blows. Since this is the beginning of the jam and they are not racing away, there is no penalty given for essentially destructing the pack. B is just setting a speed, whereas A is not really moving.

This counter-action may still eat a few minutes, especially if team A sees it happening and bridges the pack. So in anticipation of a stall, team B can all take a knee BEFORE the pack whistle blows, there will be no pack, and the jammers are realeased right away. Since there was no pack to break at the whistle, and if B resumes standing position right away, there is again no penalty issued.

Bridging 101: Arms do not bridge, refs measure distance from a skater's hips.

During all this stalling and non-skating forward, skaters realized they could skate back towards the jam line before the jammers were released. Now, team B decides A shouldn’t get the back wall every time. When the jam timer declares “5 SECONDS!” all of team B rushes the jammer line and takes a knee. This is usually done if B’s jammer is the only one on the line, so when she is released right away, team A is recovering from the sudden plan change or almost immediately get pushed ten feet out, causing no pack. A will have to stop engaging and the jammer gets to slide right through. It can also be done just to fuck with the other jammer since you’re lining up in her way with an immediate wall.

Team A sees this happen again and again and decides they better line up by the jam line too. If they see B sprint back, they know to go back with them so they don’t get called for no pack so easily. This still takes some scrambling and awareness, so they just beat B to the punch and start the jam back there from the beginning and everyone starts to forget about the pivot line. B sees A at the jammer line and lines up there too. Now we’re back to the stalled starts scenario, only we’re at the jammer line and not the pivot line. Again, a knee can be taken before the whistle to instant-start the jammers, but now they’re unleashed into a mosh pit of blockers.

What if no team takes a knee before the whistle? No one wants to skate forward to break the pack because then they will lose their position. This went on for awhile and everyone stared at each other wondering who was going to make a move first. Born were jams that never were: two whole minutes of skaters standing around as if their skates didn’t exist.

At this year’s Eastern Playoffs, it seemed there was a way to counter-act this stalled jammer line after the whistle. All but one blocker on team B would take a knee and then the last B blocker would casually skate forward until there was no pack. No one is issued a penalty and B still has a strong presence at the back.

At Westerns this counter-strategy didn’t get used and multiple jams went the full 2 minutes without any skating. There were obvious downfalls for each team to not skate, but each also felt strongly enough to stand their ground. Rat knew they couldn’t out skate Rocky, so they ate up time and messed with their heads. So why didn’t Rocky skate? According to some feedback on Derby Deeds, they felt by skating forward they were more likely to get called out of play and that Rat would hold the dominant position at the back.

Do I even need to mention the spiral staircase clarification?

So what’s the problem here? All of the fast, roller derby action is being traded for stopped, roller derby strategy. A year ago, I felt that the kinks would work out and eventually we would all skate again, but instead it got worse. Everyone is still complaining and demanding a rule change, but what should change? My sentiment was to just tell skaters to skate! Don’t get pulled into this stopped strategy by the other team. There seems to be a counter-action for each strategy, it just results in a mosh pit between the jammer and pivot line.

After dealing with this strategy in practices and bouts, and even with trying to move the action forward and counter-act the stalled strategy, I always felt at a disadvantage. Whoever was at the back had the advantage, and I could quickly be called out of play at the front. The most frustrating part is that the other team doesn’t even have to have a goat. It felt like strategy when you had to actively hold an opposing blocker to control the pack, but now they don’t even have to exert themselves to hold the pack slow. How is this fair?

This frustration is outlined in the Windy Man’s post “The Pack Solution.” He completely nails what the problem is with roller derby. It can’t necessarily be fixed with a jam line shot clock, required forward motion or one whistle. The jam might actually get going, but not much else would change. The solution is to not force the skaters to skate but to motivate them to skate. His proposed solution is explained in detail with diagrams and videos and is definitely worth your time to read. It doesn’t go without its own flaws, but it helps you think about roller derby in a different way, or at least it did for me.

In the current strategy style of WFTDA roller derby, you can get away with leisurely skating in a pace line at the back of the pack and that is called offense. You could even have only 2 skaters on the track, what should be a disadvantage, and you can still hold control of the pack. How does this seem fair? I often boast while explaining roller derby to newbs, that "it is a unique sport because we play offense and defense at the same time." We’re losing that strategy and putting stalling and standing in its place. That is the spirit of roller derby that I’m worried about losing. It doesn’t have to be all fast all the time, but I have always enjoyed its complexity and physicality, and we’re losing that.

Roller Derby is broken. The object of the game is for the jammers to lap the pack and score points. Simple enough. When the objective of the game is not being reached because standing around by the jam line is an effective strategy (and it is), something is wrong. When this strategy is used so much that fans don’t even want to watch, something is wrong. (And lets get real, most of our fans right now are die-hard followers or skaters themselves, I’d hate to know what an outsider thinks.)

A lot of people in the derby community get offended by fan criticism because this is “for the skaters by the skaters.” I even fell into this category, but am starting to understand how this whole production works. Matt Faure spells out what he think is wrong with roller derby and it makes sense. “…roller derby is a spectator sport and as such owes a certain degree of responsibility to the people who patronize it.” Yes we own our leagues and run them by democratic principles with a DIY aesthetic and train ourselves... but we also rely on our community to help us grow and improve, and in return we should in the least play roller derby for them.

Just because on some level we need to appease our audience doesn’t mean we have to sell out and put on a variety show for them. Their reaction should just be an indication that something is not making sense and we should address it. It becomes about give and take, and the continual growth of our sport is going rely on us being open to change while maintaining control.

I don’t have any real answers but I hope things change for the better and roller derby continues on its growth spurt across the globe. Now that we have junior leagues popping up, we are becoming responsible for laying the path for these young boys and girls who look up to us. I guess my biggest request is that we all calm down a bit and look closely at the conflict. If you are unhappy with what you see, contact your local league or WFTDA representative. Send in an official rule complaint or change request to WFTDA as they talk about in episode 75 of Derby Deeds. If you feel strongly one way or the other, start a discussion! Write about it. Talk about it. This post was inspired by the growing wealth of words being written on the subject, so please read all the articles I’ve linked. 

Long live roller derby.

My roommate Animal Mother's take on slow derby. "In Defense of Slow Derby"

Eugene Roller Derby Examiner by James Warmels "Why Rat City's decision not to skate was brilliant and why it should be illegal"

RDIT: Guest Writer Persephone of Philly Roller Girls "Victory Through Destruction: A Look at Game Play Destroying Strategies"

RDIT article by Quad Almighty. "One Whistle to Rule Them All." 

RDIT article by Mike Chexx. "The Message: Gotham v. Philly at ECDX"

Harrisburg Roller Derby Examiner by Kristie Grey. "Small League, Slow Derby?"

Even God Wants to Heckle You

Eyes Up.

Blah. Blah. Blah. That's what most of my posts have been. Whining about what I DON'T have and what I WANT but not about what I should do to get there.

Well, yesterday I applied to two jobs and went to Cedar Valley to run a jammer practice for the Brawlers. Today I picked up 5 extra hours at the shop and went for a run. Minus the Wendy's I had last night, I have been getting back on the good food wagon, and remembering how tasty a salad can be. Take that life!

I keep dwelling in my frustrations which leads down a slippery, depressing slope. I've started to tap into a bit of motivation, so now I just need to hang onto it and keep pushing forward. I've also completely stopped doing any video which makes me sad, so I need to MAKE time for it. I have a bunch of random footage from Rollercon I never did anything with, and tons of bout footage to play with. WTF Deadwards?

So what motivates me?

MEDUSA 

"Never stop challenging yourself if you want to 

continue to improve as a skater."

Photo by Preflash Gordon

She's a driven, amazing skater for the Minnesota Rollergirls. I had the pleasure of taking one of her classes at Rollercon and love her style. She is also part of Team USA and featured recently on derbylife.

She also came down with the version of MNRG All-Stars that played us in June. Not only is she a great jammer, but a stealthy blocker. As a skater with a similar athletic background as me, and only a few years ahead on derby experience, she is definitely a skater I look up to. Keep an eye on her during North Central Playoffs.

London Rollergirls

They had an AMAZING showing at Eastern Playoffs last weekend, and proved that hard work pays off. As the pioneering league for Europe, being only five years old, and going into the tournament without a sanctioned win, they exceeded all expectations. I caught a majority of their bout vs Philly, and you could see them learn and adapt as they played. I was sad to miss most of their bout vs Montreal, but it was obviously a brilliant comeback from their 70 point loss to them at Anarchy in the UK. 

MRAAAAAAH!
Photo by KORfan.

My teammates.

The fresh meat have definitely been inspirational this year. Jenna JAMisON not only makes a great pet, but she has improved immensely and has let us throw her into bouting this season. Same with Outlaw Jessie Pains who I think has done everything from soccer to rugby, pushes me with her fancy footwork and endurance. Triple D Zaster has always been a skater that pushes me to skater harder and faster. Her drive and dedication to working out outside of practice reminds me how important cross-training is. Returning skaters like Ima Golddiggah, who has attended a 5 am body sculpting class since June, remind me to keep challenging myself. Did I mention how quickly she returned after having a baby? Toxic Sugar has probably been the most inspirational this year. Last season she injured her knee which led to surgery and a year+ being off skates. Could we get rid of her? Nope. Despite her frustration, being a mom of four and deciding to go back to school, she attending nearly every practice and became a valuable off skates member of the team. She has handled an intense amount of internal work for the team; everything from setting up bouts to pushing us through our apprenticeship. She is the glue that holds our team together and now she is returning to skates, which I'm sure terrifying for anyone after injury. 

Myself 

Lately I've been pretty down on myself and focusing too much on what I can't do. Reminding msyelf what I have done and what I'm capable of is inspiring to get myself back in that good place. The Roller Derby Workout Challenge got me in great shape earlier this year and I felt unstoppable on the track. With Animal Mother by my side, I helped cultivate a crop of new skaters that are looking amazing on the track. I have edited some awesome videos including a whole 20 minute documentary on our team. I went to Rollercon and have been meeting amazing people all over the world! Did I mention I've gotten MVP twice this year and get multiple shout outs on the Derby Deeds Podcast? (I'm kind of a big deal.)

Knowing I can take out a speed skater like Stella Italiana adds a boost of confidence.
Photo by KORfan

Deadwards vs Edwards

Bench coachin. Yeah, no one else recognizes me
without face paint either...
Photo by KORfan

Fall means a new school year in Iowa City. Doesn’t matter if you’re not actually in school, the whole city revolves around the University. Living in a college town is interesting, and is why I think roller derby teams prosper in them. There is an abundance of more diverse and open minded people who are more likely to join a unique sport such as derby. There is already a large sports-minded population that is itching to watch some fierce competition and lots of fun-loving alumni with families that find their way to a bout.

A town absorbed by a state college isn’t without its conflicts either. We have to schedule around the fall football season, deal with a summer lull when students leave, and have a hard time really breaking into the student population to begin with—they’re poor and have no transportation. It’s a recipe for derby to grow, but we have to work hard at cultivating awareness in order to penetrate the city.

This past year I’ve felt like that has been my full time job. I’m all derby, all the time. At one point I suppose I wanted nothing more, but now it’s starting to wear on me. I’ve been out of school a year and a half now, and haven’t really worked on pushing my personal and professional life any further.

I’ve come to realize I really love doing PR for the team and this year have worked hard at revamping the image of our team, ensuring that promotional items get done and sent, and tried to explore new ways to get our name out. I’ve also taken on coaching, and helped train a whole crop of fresh meat for the past 9 months. I even put together a new event in our schedule, the Roll Out, to highlight them and show off everything else we’ve achieved this year. As a board member I have another meeting to add to my schedule, and heavy topics to discuss. It’s been exhausting to say the least.

So proud of these ladies. 

So where am I personally a year later? Still broke, working a part time job as a barista and no certain path laid out before me. It’s frustrating and my love for derby is slowly turning into animosity. At the end of the day, I like the things I do for derby, but it doesn’t pay. Take derby out of my life and I wouldn’t have much left at this point, and I wouldn’t be any happier either. A balance is needed.

I graduated college with a BFA in Intermedia art with a high interest in video. I just started to develop my creative juices and gained a skill for editing. My culminating project was a 20 minute documentary on our team which proved to myself that I really can do anything I work hard at. I know I have it in me to do the things I want, I’ve just lost that ambition and motivation to do so.

I just need to take a hard look at what is benefiting ME right now and what I can do to push myself forward. Sacrifices might have to be made, and hard work has to be done if I want to be in a good place. The next year could lead to many possibilities, and I have to be open to them. Come next fall I am NOT going to be working at the shop, with a new crop students asking me what my major is… 

Anyways, here's my long awaited movie about OCCRG from the spring of 2010. We were still sorta babies...

-L4D

Worst Parade Ever

This next blog is by request.

All refs are dumb, blind, liars and biased, right?

In sports, the players get all the glory and refs get all the ridicule. Athletes train to learn the rules and perfect their skill in order to play a fair and safe game, and the refs are there to help ensure that that happens.

Roller derby is of course, a unique sport. (how many times can I say that?) The athletes are amateur, the officials are volunteers and most of an audience for a bout is relatively new to the game. It’s safe to say that not every bout is pretty, especially non-WFTDA sanctioned bouts. For newer leagues, most are lucky if they can find someone to learn the rules and join their league to ref, and even luckier if they can find multiple people interested in reffing.

As I’ve also said before, derby is newest in the Midwest. There have been about five new leagues on the scene in the past couple years; lots of freshly tenderized meat. Of most of these leagues I have seen few with more than one or two regular refs attached to their team. It shows in their playing because they don’t have that constant eye on them at practice to help evolve their game. Newer skaters are going to be sloppy already, but if they aren’t getting the feedback of a ref at home, game day becomes a real eye opener for them. 

I think our league has developed so fast because we can boast a large ref crew. If you check our brand spanking new website, we have 11 zebras listed in our herd. That is more than enough to ref a bout, meaning that we have a full ref crew at almost every practice. From the time our league began, we also had close ties to certified refs which gave us good roots from which our league could grow. Howie Swerve, a level 2 ref, comes around from time to time to help mold our refs and to make sure everyone is on the same page. The Gorram Reaver, also a level 2, has worked with us multiple times and provided us with VERY thorough discussions. Some of our refs have attended the recent officiating clinics to further their knowledge of the rules. I am not a ref, nor a certified WFTDA member, but I feel confident in saying that we have a very good ref crew at our disposal. The lack of refs in the Midwest has also led to a plethora of reffing opportunities for them across a range of skill levels.

The Gorram Reaver is a tough ref, and I may not always like her during a bout, but that's because she's doing her job.

This weekend I was told that I should blog about how one ref was a cocksucker. I don’t find this as an indication of bad reffing, I actually find it quite the opposite. When I hear people complain about the officiating at a bout, I ask them why they thought it was so bad. The response is usually that they made bad calls or they “only called elbows on such&such team and didn’t call ANY on so&so team.” Well… maybe such&such team was throwing a lot more elbows that so&so team? I find that latter complaint usually about teams that are playing on a fresher level. A penalty on a newer skater is going to look a lot different than a penalty on an experienced skater. I might come up behind an all-star skater and run into her back, but she is a strong player so she doesn’t fall down. That is a minor. I do the same on a fresh meat skater, and she might fall down making it a major.

I hear these accusations and usually just step back because it’s not my sandbox. I have a pretty decent understanding of the rules because I make sure I understand them completely when I get called for something. I’ve toyed with the idea of even trying out reffing, to get a better understanding of the rules, but just watching in practice it looks extremely tough to judge impact and intention of action on the track.

Saturday night I got a bit of a peek into officiating from the middle of a zebra pack. I helped jam time at the Your Mom bout in Des Moines against the St. Louis Gatekeepers. I had jam timed for Your Mom once before in a relatively closed interleague scrimmage, but working at a bout with an audience is a whole different experience. The crowd can be vicious and distracting. I fumbled with the whistle a few times in the first half because the roar of the crowd was so overwhelming.

Jam timing is an interesting job, and very systematic. Everything I do is according to a clock: jam time, period time, in-between jam time, time outs, etc. I also have to respond to a few certain ref calls. Jams run two minutes long unless the jammer calls it off. The jammer signals this to the ref, the ref calls the jam, I stop the clock, start 30 seconds until the next jam, which I give a five second warning and then start the pack. The next whistle, per the rules, sounds when the last pack skater crosses the line. Simple enough, right? Well with all the new pack strategy off the line, it gets a little more complicated.

If the black team decides to take a knee, I sound the first whistle to start the jam, and then I must wait for the refs to call no pack, in which I immediately release the jammers. If not everyone takes a knee before the first whistle then a pack would still exist and I must be cognizant to only respond to the call of the refs. It’s a little tricky and takes a lot of focus and attention, and once I pushed the yells of the crowd out of my head it all became much smoother.

My job is not much different than a ref. A wise ref by the name of Umpire Strikes Back once said that a ref “describes what the skaters are doing, they do not prescribe.” Meaning, they take in all of the information that lies before them and respond with an appropriate call. There are also different ref positions that are responsible for making certain calls. A jam ref may see a pack skater commit a penalty, but they are relying on their pack refs to call it because they must remain completely focused on their jammer. (What jammer likes it when they call off a jam but get too much lag time from their ref because they were not making eye contact?) There is a very specific flow to how a ref crew works a bout, and experienced and certified refs have it down pretty well.

There's a difference between team douchebag
and just being a douchebag. Hellarad knows.

I’ve listened in on enough zebra chat to know that most refs have little emotion tied to bouts. They call the penalties they see and they see the penalties they call. There is a check and balance system amongst them, as the outside pack refs call into the inside pack refs to acknowledge that was indeed a track cut or a no pass/no penalty, etc. The jam refs have lots of communication as to whether their jammer got lead or lap points. It’s amazing to experience a ref crew up close and personal and to see the action from the infield of a track.

To hear some of the nasty comments this past weekend was just baffling to me. When they are only booing the calls against their league and only cheering for the calls against the opposing league, they lose credibility when they approach a ref after the bout to claim that they were the worst fucking ref they had ever seen.

Like I said I am not a ref, but from my experience and all the information I gathered through my position on the track, the refs called what they saw, and saw what they called, and a crowd claming differently is going to have no impact on the game. If you disagree, I would like to see you put on some stripes and do a better job. Everyone is entitled to their opinion of how a game goes or what they think of the officiating, whether it’s an educated opinion is a different story. Either way, it is just plain rude to mouth off to a ref in this sport since they are all here voluntarily, and without them our game would never improve. 

Your Mom vs Gatekeepers Pictures by  Maharry Photography

REDtribution.

Last Saturday was the MIR re-match. The time had come to seek vengeance on last year’s heartbreak. I had to prove to myself that I was better than last year and that we had really gotten somewhere as a team.

Warming up, I felt a little shaky. Eating the right balance of food can be tricky bout day, and my stomach was a little uncertain. Also MIR is one of the only other teams that we’ve played who also has a slick floor. I even felt like I was sliding around a bit too much in warm ups and didn’t feel entirely solid.

Tyna learned at last year’s bout not to play me first, so Ophelia Fracture took the line and put 8 up on the board for us, while Vyolent Grimm snagged 4 for MIR. The first jam sets the tone for me, and going to the jam line second I still wasn't sure. So far it looked like they weren’t just going to hand it over to us. Lolli Pop Ya took the line next to me, one of the only jammers that makes me feel small in the star. I entered the pack second, and got stuck on the outside and tripped up over a downed skater. I tried to save myself but fumbled to the floor, feeling a bit embarrassed. I brushed myself off and sped up to catch Lolli, forcing her to call it off after she got 4 points.

Jen growls her way through.

The third jam they put two more up on the board and had the lead for a brief moment until OFX busted our lead wide open with an 18 point jam. It looked like Lolli was playing a lot of back to back jams and primarily blocking, which left the jamming to Vyloent Grimm and some of their fresher skaters. We had a handful of our fresher meat with us that night too, relying on Jenna JAMisON and Outlaw Jessie Pains to fill out or jammer bench since GLADi8HER is out for awhile with injury.

This was also the debut night for JB and Red Tribution. Red, whose was a bridesmaid in her brother's wedding the following day, got whacked in the face in her very first jam. It sucked to see her out so early on, but I think it made her derby drive stronger. JB is a great trailer to anyone's truck, and helped block the crap out of one or two jammers. 

The uncertainty I felt during warm ups washed away quickly with several big jams, including a 23 point power jam. By the half we had a solid lead at 113 to their 53. I actually felt quite good on the track and wasn’t completely exhausted like I was by this time last year. Also, I think Your Dad needs to come up with a new nick name for me. In March I was “Twinkletoes” because I got really good at avoiding big hits while jamming, but now I’m dishing out the big hits while jamming. When you have the star on your head, everyone is out to get you. You can begin to anticipate when they’re going to lay a hit on you, especially if you try to take the coveted inside line. Why not just hit them first? 

I was awarded MVP.
It's a foot.

The second half began and we had to be careful not too get to comfortable in our lead, because last year they picked away at it in the second half and won in the final jam. We have been working on a lot of partner defense lately, and it was really showing in this bout. One particular jam I remember blocking in, it was just Jane Bang and myself on the track, minivanned by a nearly full MIR pack. We worked together and held off any serious damage and kept their jammer to only a few points.

We played a lot of smart strategy and kept control of the pack nearly the whole bout. It was reassuring to be working so well on the track after a long break of bouting and a bit of rotation in our roster. We won 246 to 114 in which I contributed 89 points- my highest scoring bout. My point differential was 71, which means I only allowed them 18 points against me while I jammed.  As a jammer, you’re only as good as your differential. It was good closure after my poor performance last year against MIR. 

This bout's photos:

Emily Sherman Photography

Dave Schrader

Erik Roys Photography

Nieuwenhuis Fotografie

Ed Cowan Photography

Des Moines Metromix

This post is dedicated to Red Tribution's broken nose. She'll be back with a vengeance...

Viva Rollercon.

I. am. in. Vegas.

To be honest, Vegas itself is pretty underwhelming. I’ve never really had the urge to come here because it’s expensive and gambling has never made much sense to me. (and the tunnel people!) But I’m not here to gamble or go to a fancy show, I am here for ROLLERCON. 

I’ve been nothing but excited the whole way here… the whole.. 27 hour way here. (Yes, we drove from IOWA CITY.) Last night Animal and I looked up which classes we want to take while we’re here. With those, the events, the challenge bouts to watch and you know, eating, this is going to be a VERY busy five days. Commence overwhelmsion.

I finally got some sleep last night, and I know I will make it all work. (work it out!) I just have to make peace with the fact that I probably won’t get to do everything I want to do. I also will have to exercise a little self control and limit my partying if I want to fit so many classes in. (the latter part will be hard.) Animal and I decided we will become Rollercon experts and then teach a preliminary class next year on how to do Rollercon right.

Team Christmas Miracle

We have already had lots of roller derby road trip practice this year. The weekend prior, Animal, Killer Baker, Fannysaurus Wrex and I drove to Lincoln, Nebraska to fill a hole in a double header weekend No Coast needed filled. They invited a few teams out to play, but when a team bowed out last minute they were scrambling to fill the spot. After many emails, and many potential plans, we ended up forming a mash up team with some girls from Sioux City, Sioux Falls, and Norfolk. They were so grateful they called us “Team Christmas Miracle.” Oh, did I mention we were taking on the No Coast Mad Maxines?

A moment of fear filled me prior to the bout, remembering the beating I was given against the Minnesota girls, but I let it go. I was  playing with girls I’d never played with before, against a WFTDA team I’d never seen play before; this bout was going to be a miracle anyway you look at it.

We danced and made friends.

First jam, I toed the line and looked up at the pack; the No Coast girls looked like giants, but the whistle blew and I looked past their two walls and exited, Lead Jammer! The first few jams we held them tight, but a few power jams later, they pulled way ahead. It didn’t matter. We showed them we meant business and I was ready to fight for every point. 

They won 200 to 46, but it felt a lot closer than that. I got my ass handed to me a few times, but I didn’t freak out and gave it everything I could. I felt bruised and broken and great afterwards and was awarded MVP of my team. We stuck around for the next day to help/watch the No Coast vs Ohio bouts which both No Coast teams pulled ahead and won in the final minutes. We danced our asses off at the after party and felt primed for Rollercon.

So bring it Rollecon. Give me everything you got. I’m ready to get my ass kicked.